On those days when things don’t go as planned and you feel like “could this day get any worse?!”, is it more common to suppress what your feeling so you’re not adding to someone else’s stress, or just vent to one of your best friends? For those who address their issues alone, I want to know how you cope? Is it healthy? Is it something that can be taught?I feel like that’s what my partner and best friends are for. They each have a role when it comes to venting, how and who I vent to is very important. However the problem with venting to friends is when your friends become to busy for you, then what do you do? This is my current dilemma and why I am asking how those that suppress manage?
Up until five years ago I had a support system that was so extensive I never had the problem I’m faced with now. There was an abundance of ears to talk off, shoulders to cry on, and company to share stories with when I didn’t want to think or talk about my terrible circumstances. But now that I am older, a working mother and a wife, I don’t know that I can receive nor give the time and energy I used to. Of course it would be nice because as a new mother I am experiencing many more positive things I would love to share but I also still have problems and situations I wish I had people there to talk me through. And when I say talk I mean sit together on the couch with a pitcher of margaritas and talk, not via phone, text or email (I was once told to write a letter or email, and not address or send it off, which didn’t help at all!)
Talking through things in person, out loud helps me to see the perspective I missed. I’m not as narrow-minded as one might and can see the error of my ways, it just takes time, and discussions. But I know personally that having someone to back you up and support you as you recognize you made a mistake has always been a comforting feeling. I’ve always thought that among other things that was the most important part of a friendship, supporting one another. But lately it’s not a luxury I have had and I have tackled most things alone, whether by choice or force, and I can definitely say validating yourself is not the way to go. Ultimately I hope to find out what I am doing wrong and how I can fix this current problem. Suggestions would be much appreciated!